Playdate Etiquette

Have you ever thought about playdate etiquette? 

We all have our expectations about how one should conduct themselves while in another person's home, or in our home.  Have we thought about how our toddlers should emulate our values of being a polite guest or gracious host?

First of all, none of us would like it if someone came over and starting going through our drawers and shelves and pulling things out... or getting on our ipad or phone and asking for our password to check our email.  You would kick them out of your house!  So, I think it is fair to say that when a toddler has all of their toys descended upon by a child or children, they are likely to get a little defensive and well, some toddlers, quite angry.

Here are some ideas when hosting a playdate:
1)  I think it is fair to say your child's lovie or favorite toy are off limits from other children.  You could tell your child ahead of time that you are going to put these away for after the playdate.  Keep them in a "safe place" so your child knows where to find it once everyone has left.  (This is if you know that your child will be particularly upset about sharing this very favorite item.) 
2)  Have your child help you pick up a few toys before your guests arrive.  Have them pick up the number of the age they are... for instance, if your child is three, have them pick up three toys.  This teaches your child the value of preparing for guests, being hospitable, having pride in your home.
3)  Have an easy and healthy snack for children during the playdate.  Explain your rules of keeping the food at the table.  It will make clean-up much easier.
4) Relax, make you and your girlfriend some coffee and offer a snack.  Enjoy the children playing and hopefully you can get in a few sentences to catch up!
5)  If children are fighting over a toy, leave them for a minute and see if they work it out.  If a child is being very unjust, intervene by: a) putting the toy in time-out, b) having children take turns (Amy gets it for a minute, then Jenny gets it for a minute) c) separate the children to different rooms for a break to play by themselves.  Above all, with siblings and friends, make playing together a privilege.
6)  If you have naptime or need your mommy break, let your guest know before arriving, for example say "we can do a playdate from  10am to 12pm". 

When a guest at a playdate:
1)  Bring a snack or drink to share!
2)  Teach your child to say please and thank you and manners of not jumping on furniture and keeping food contained in the eating space.
3)  Clean up after yourself and your children when you leave.  Teach your child the value of leaving a place better than you found it.

Thank your host for hosting, do not stay longer than two hours unless previously agreed you will stay longer.  Two hours is enough time for a host and her children to have friends over.  Obviously, if you want to have a long playdate, discuss ahead of time.  If it is a long summer day and you want to have lunch and sprinkler time outside, keep it going!